I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
