fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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