Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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