ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
