The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
