is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
jump out the window naked night went bad
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
