I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
