I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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