Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
