whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize