hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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