How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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