it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
