South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
