It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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