Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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