dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
