Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
When are your genitals available?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
