She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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