In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
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We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
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THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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