Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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