It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
