Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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