You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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