My friends, they love my intelligence
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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