fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
