I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
