dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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