i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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