im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize