I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
