you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
