I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
