i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
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