so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
