took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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