I like to think it a success when the cops are called
that's an acceptable place to lick
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
