i will never coherently bang her
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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