Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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