I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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