Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Is it because I queefed?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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