she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You dont lie about slip and slides
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
