I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
smell my finger.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
