We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
