May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...