My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
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keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
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I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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