when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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