i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Small penises have feelings too.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.