Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I don't deserve a penis
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
