If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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