nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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