Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
