I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
