I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
