either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
