she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize