have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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