you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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