he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
