Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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