come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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