Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
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